


Mad Love

by samsbestgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Sam Winchester, Bottom Sam, Brotherly Love, Declarations Of Love, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Everyone Finds Out (kinda), Fluff and Smut, Guidance Counselors, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Incest Kink, Insecure Sam Winchester, Insecurity, Light Angst, Loving Dean Winchester, M/M, Possessive Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Rough Sex, Running Away, Sibling Incest, Smartass Dean Winchester, Soulmates Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Top Dean, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsbestgirl/pseuds/samsbestgirl
Summary: Maybe if they had kept their hands off each other for at least five minutes, they wouldn't have ended up in the guidance counselor's office with an earful of all the reasons why their love shouldn't be allowed.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 279





	Mad Love

**Author's Note:**

> *slightly inspired by the song Mad Love by Neon Trees.
> 
> Also, English is not my first language so mistakes can be found considering this was un-betaed. 
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!

The white-tiled walls were giving Dean the creeps the longer he stared at them. It was all he could do not to reach out to his brother on the other side of the room, but he knew if he did there was a fat chance he wasn't gonna see him again. He wasn't about to take that chance. Instead, he sighed, letting out all his pent up frustration and rage and clearing his mind of everything but the matter at hand. He had to tread carefully if he wanted to survive this meeting and come out of it exactly how he entered: with his baby brother by his side. 

He already felt like the hospital-themed walls were closing in on him, leaving him breathless and isolated. He chanced a glance at Sam and noticed the way he was holding himself like he was trying to appear smaller than he actually was, like he was trying to hide and disappear. Like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Dean felt his heart breaking at the sight and all he wanted to do was take his chin in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eyes and assure him that everything was going to be alright. Big brother was here and he would make sure nobody would tear them apart. He would never let them.

The door opened at last and Dean looked up to see an elegantly dressed woman holding a clipboard in one hand and a fancy bag in another. She was the type of counselor parents wanted their kids to listen to. The authoritative type. Dean mentally prepared himself, his mind working overtime to find an explanation that wouldn't earn them problems with the CPS. He just worried it might be too late. The middle-aged woman dismissed them with a wave of her hand for a moment before she resumed her seat at the artfully arranged wooden desk. She didn't want to be there, Dean could tell, and hell, he didn't blame her. He didn't want to be there either. 

"Sam and Dean Winchester?" she asked without raising her eyes from her files, like a robot who just wanted to get it all done with in as little time as possible. 

"That's us," Dean gave her a curt answer, not waiting to see if Sam would speak up. He already knew he wasn't going to. 

"You do know why you're here, right?" the woman, Klara, judging by her name tag, addressed them with an icy tone, the disgust clearly visible in her voice. She tried to conceal it, but it was of no use. Dean could see right through her. Underneath the professional attitude, the highly-priced clothes she wore, Klara didn't care about them. About any of them. She just wanted to do her job, get her money and send them on their merry way.

Dean went with his first instinct. Deny it 'till you're blue in the face. "Uhm... not really. If this is about the - " but he didn't get to finish that train of thought.

"Mister Winchester, I've heard a lot of complaints from students over the past couple of weeks about your attitude. That's not why you're here though. One of your classmates presumably saw you and your brother, Sam, behind the school's gym 'making out' as he put it. Now, I don't usually listen to rumors, but other kids said that the way you act toward each other is not normal, or at least not healthy for siblings. I'm giving you a chance to explain. I suggest you take it."

Sam gasped audibly, making both of their heads turn toward the sound. Dean's mouth was agape and for the life of him, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. It was important to keep his mind clear, not get overwhelmed by fears and worries. Everything was at stake. 

"Look," he cleared his throat "I don't know what you've heard but I can assure you that it's not true. Whatever that kid thinks he saw, he must be wrong. Maybe he got confused or something. That doesn't mean we need to be dragged into this mess." Dean tried to sound confident but by the look Klara threw at him he kinda realized he was doing a poor job of it.

She raised one manicured fingertip to stop his ramblings. "You know, boys, I used to be a psychologist so I can tell almost every time when someone's lying through their teeth. Now, care to tell me the truth or should I involve CPS and have a talk with your father and maybe by then you'll want to explain." Klara wore an overconfident, disinterested look on her face that told Dean she knew exactly what she was doing.

At the mention of their father, Dean reflexively got up from the chair, in two purposeful strides coming to stand beside his brother, as though he could protect him from the not-yet-fulfilled nightmare she was talking so carelessly about. "What do you want us to say, huh?" When he didn't know how to act, he usually got defensive. 

"Dean, I'm not your enemy, I just want the truth. Listen, I've seen things like these before. A sister coming into my office to tell me she's being abused by her big brother. Power dynamics are an important issue in most sibling relationships. Or sometimes - " but Dean couldn't take it anymore. 

Before he snapped and told her where she could stow this crap she was so keen on telling them about, Sam was the one who actually stood up and grabbed Dean's arm as if that gesture would keep him from leaving and started babbling words you wouldn't have heard if you weren't standing close enough. 

"No! No, no, you're wrong - This is not - That's not what's happening. Dean would never -" Sam's voice was trembling, a sure sign he was close to tears and Dean's overprotective big brother side came to the surface, wanting to make sure his little brother was okay, that nothing could hurt him. 

He turned around, not caring they were being watched and clasped Sam's face in his hands. "Hey, shhh, shh, look at me. I'm right here. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. I'm here." He looked into Sam's hazel eyes and felt all the love he always had for his baby brother grow tenfold, a thing he didn't even think possible. In this vulnerable state, he could only imagine all the ways in which people who didn't even know them and what they've been through could take them away from each other and he swore it would never come to that. You would have to pry his dead hands from his brother before you took Sam away from him. He swallowed the hot tears threatening to spill and dammit, Dean Winchester did not cry but fuck it, it was his fault they were in this situation in the first place and there was nothing they could do now but just take whatever consequences this damned woman would throw their way. 

Dean pulled Sam into a bear-hug, gripping him tightly and just daring her to say something. After he felt Sam's shakes subsiding, he turned around with his hands still around Sam's waist, not willing to let go just yet, and faced the counselor's angry stare with a forceful one of his own. 

"I see," she said, a smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. "So that kid was right." Klara sighed and put her pen down, rising from the chair so as not to look up at them. She decided not to comment on the way they were holding onto each other. "I want to make sure you know what you're doing. This is not right. It's not normal. It doesn't matter you're two guys or two girls, incest in any form is not okay, it's immoral and a sin." She spoke carefully like with little children that didn't know the difference between right or wrong and had to be educated. 

"And who says that? You?" Dean raised an eyebrow, not buying what she was selling. If she was trying to convert them in her own stupid way, it was too late for that and anyway, they didn't want to stop. It felt right to them. "You don't think we know all that? You don't think we've heard it time and time again?"

She seemed indignant. "And why are you still doing it? Does your father know? He wouldn't approve of this if he knew." Dean sucked in a huge breath of air, forcing himself to stay calm and not cause a scene. "Sam," she switched her attention onto Sam and Dean visibly tensed, ready to pounce on her if necessary. "I know big brothers can be controlling, I know it may seem like you want to engage now in whatever actions he's told you about, but did you ever think maybe you were forced into thinking you do? Mental abuse is as dangerous as - "

'What are you suggesting?" Sam's voice was fragile but forceful at the same time, making you feel sorry for even thinking about him as the weak one. He wasn't weak, not by a long shot. He could protect himself from unwanted advances, but obviously that wasn't the case. "Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, what we have," he pointed at himself and Dean, "is consensual and loving? Has it ever crossed your mind?" 

Klara appeared to be taken aback for a moment before she composed herself again, standing tall with her head held high and her shoulders tense like she couldn't even consider the possibility. "Mister Winchester, do you even know what you're implying? He must've brainwashed you so bad..." She trailed off, lost in thought for a second. 

Sam laughed then, sudden and powerful and Dean could just stare at him, bewildered with eyes wide open, uncertain what he should be doing. What was happening? Everything was moving along too fast and it gave him whiplash. "Brainwashed? Damn, you're funny. Did you hear her, Dean? She must not know that you are a sucker for my puppy dog look, that you'd just drop at my feet if I told you so, that I'm the one having power over you but that I'd never use it to my advantage because, you know what?" He stared her down with such a determined look, Dean felt his chest swell with pride. "We love each other. When we make love it feels like we're the only ones left in a torn-up world ready to collapse. You couldn't find a more loving and consensual relationship if you searched the world." His words rang with truth and echoed around the room, settling around Klara, rendering the counselor uncomfortable and speechless. 

"See?" Dean interjected, wrapping both of his hands around Sam's waist and placing his chin on his shoulder. He felt warm being so close to his brother, like nothing could touch them ever again, like they could take on the whole world together and come out the other side unscathed. "Nothing you could say could ever stop my baby," he pecked Sam on the cheek and smiled knowingly at Sam's reaction to the pet name. He shivered visibly and Dean knew this time it was from arousal, not fear. Sam understood that Dean wasn't gonna let anyone tear them apart. He would kill everyone first. 

Klara almost gagged at the display of affection and tried to keep her cool when faced with a situation way out of her field of expertise. "Baby?" She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to prepare herself for another witty comeback she was certain would follow her remark. "Boys, this is not right. What you're doing is illegal and even if it doesn't seem like it now, someday along the line one or both of you will get hurt." 

"Trust me, nothing in this world could ever shake us up. You don't know anything about us. Who we are, what we do, but know this. The bond between us is stronger than most marriages out there, stronger than yours too probably." Dean was tired. Tired of explaining their actions and motives to her, to someone who would never get it because she's living in a perfect world in which anything stepping over the lines deemed worthy by society is immediately wrong. She would never spare a second thought if it didn't fit the patterns of her world. She's livid because she doesn't understand.

And people fear what they don't understand. 

She watched them curiously like they were something to be dissected. She placed a label on them and refused to see past it. There was nothing they could do to make her see their reasons. So Dean did the only thing he could. 

"If you even think about reporting this to the authorities there will be hell to pay. Don't underestimate me. If you know what's best for you, you'll step off and pretend you don't know a thing. And you don't call our father." Dean did not feel bad about threatening her, even seeing her suddenly terrified expression and the way she was gripping onto the desk for support, because he was only protecting the one he loved. Surely you can't fault him for that. "There is nothing I won't do to make sure my baby brother is safe and right where he belongs, by my side." And with that said, he bent down and claimed Sam's sweet, soft lips with his own, letting out an audible moan while he was devouring his mouth, the arousal coursing through his veins and clouding his mind, making him forget his surroundings for a second.

He heard Klara gasp and back off, hitting one of the framed pictures on her desk. When they broke apart, Dean noticed she had a hand clasped over her mouth and her gaze avoided both of them, trying to ignore their presence however she could. 

"You could say we got a really, really, really mad love," Dean added, running his hands up and down Sam's sides. "And nothing you could do could ever stop this feeling. Maybe we're breaking the rules, maybe we're immoral, as you said it, but at least we're real. And I can't say the same thing about you or about any of the 'upstanding citizens' in this god-forsaken high school in the middle of nowhere. And you know what? Sam and I, with our incestuous love affair as you put it, could mess all of you up in a blink and you wouldn't know what hit you." He smirked, proud of himself and the way his voice held and affected her.

Dean backed Sam off toward the door, guiding him with a hand on the small of his back, not taking his eyes off the counselor. He knew they spooked her and didn't feel at all guilty. Maybe he should, but his thoughts were swarming with Sam and all the ways he would fuck him once they got home, wanting to erase the memory of all their eyes on them like they were something different and different meant bad and bad meant disgusting and that's not what they were. If loving his brother was wrong, then he didn't want to be right and live in a world without Sam next to him at every turn. 

After they were gone, Klara fell on her chair, putting her head in her hands and thinking about how she ended up here. And what did it say about her that she was actually considering their words? What if maybe, just maybe, she was in the wrong this time? The love she could sense between those two boys was too pure to ever be bad and she felt overwhelmed with all the different routes her mind was taking her. It took her a lot of time to gather enough strength to lift her head up and when she did her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. She only knew one thing. She wasn't reporting these two brothers and if you had asked her then she would've told you it was because she feared for her life, but really, it was because she had hope for Sam and Dean. If they could make it, there was hope for all of them.

*

"Do you think maybe we got a little carried away back there?" Sam asked while he and Dean were speeding down the highway toward their motel. Of course John would've chosen the farthest one from school he encountered. Dean chanced a glance at his brother and caught his eyes for a moment, smiling to let him know it was alright. And what if maybe Dean had his worries? There was no need to burden Sam with them. He got enough on his plate as it was.

"Nah, man." He paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "Well... maybe we were a bit hard on her, I mean it's not every day that you discover two brothers making out on the school grounds. And by the way, sorry for that... I guess it's my fault. If I hadn't -"

Sam interrupted before he could say anything else. "Dean, don't even go there. It wasn't your fault. I wanted it as much as you did. I thought we were past it by now. All this guilt - it's just gonna eat at us until something gives. And it won't be pretty, I assure you."

"When did you get so clever, little brother?" Dean teased, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. Sam wouldn't get it. Dean was the big brother, the responsible one, of course he felt guilty. He could live with it though. As long as Sam was with him. And if one day he decided to leave, then he would do the right thing and let him go be happy if that's what he wanted, even though it would rip Dean's heart and soul in two. There was nothing he wouldn't do for that kid.

"Oh, shut up, you love it!"

And Dean could only smirk because, yeah, he did. 

After they parked the car outside the motel they were staying at, they both walked silently to the door. Their Dad wasn't home, the hunt taking him longer than he previously anticipated. The sky was clear and the stars were shining down on them. The light cast on Sam's face made his face look otherworldly, like an angel's, sharpening his futures and making Dean suck in a deep breath because dear God sometimes he felt like he would spontaneously combust if he didn't hold Sam in his arms, if he wouldn't be able to look in his eyes and tell him every day how much he meant to Dean. 

The minute the door closed behind them, Dean spun him around and pressed him to the nearest wall, for a second only looking in his eyes and breathing heavily. He wanted to show Sam how much he wanted him, how much he appreciated him and how precious he was to Dean. So he did what he does best. He showed him all of these things with actions. He's never been very good with words anyway. Dean surged forward and caught Sam's lips in a fierce kiss, pouring all his desires into it and leaving himself unguarded, vulnerable, letting Sam see exactly what his effect on Dean was. It would be as Sam said it, he would drop at his feet in an instant if it meant getting one more night of this. Of them. 

Sam moaned into his mouth, unprepared for Dean's vicious and sudden claiming of his lips. He could taste him on his tongue and if you asked him, Dean's mouth was the most powerful aphrodisiac ever made. Sam gripped onto Dean's shoulders, wrestling with his jacket, wanting it out of the way. No matter how many times they did this, they always felt the same desperation. Like if they didn't get to touch and taste everything now, it could be suddenly ripped from their hands with no chance at getting it back. But now, they were more than desperate, they were frantic, searching for every inch of exposed skin to mark and caress. The threat of being separated still pulsed between them, making them groan and try to get even closer if that was possible.

After he got Sam naked and writhing to get some friction, Dean threw him on the nearest bed and climbed on top of him, still mostly clothed but uncaring as he sucked on his baby brother's pulse point. "Fuck Sammy, the way you almost came in your pants back then in the office when I called you baby, it was the hottest thing." Dean started to babble and say everything crossing his mind in that instant. "Do you like that, Sam? Like being your brother's baby boy?" He traced his fingers over Sam's back, coaxing him to shiver involuntarily.

"I love how responsive you are to my touch..." He accentuated his words by pinching one of his hard nipples, drawing out a sweet, loud moan from his baby brother.

"Dean, please -" Dean huffed out a laugh, knowing fully well how impatient Sam could get. His cock was leaking in his pants, so turned on by the way Sam seemed to crave Dean as much as Dean craved Sam. He palmed at his erection almost mindlessly, watching in rapt fascination as Sam bucked his hips forwards, chasing some kind of friction on his hard dick. The head was almost purple from all the pleasure he was feeling and Dean's mouth watered, wanting a taste, anything. 

"Please what, Sammy? Just say it and big brother will make sure you get it." Dean growled low in his throat when Sam almost mewled, his fingers clawing at Dean's back, trying to get him naked and touch his warm skin with nothing standing in the way. And Dean could never deny his little brother anything. He tore his mouth from Sam's neck, drawing a displeased sound from him in the process, and pulled his shirt over his head, his chest glistening with sweat. Sam's eyes traveled across his abs like it was the first time all over again. Dean loved the sensation. 

He crawled lower over Sam's body, making his way down with kisses right where Sam wanted him. "Dean, I - Fuck, please, touch me." 

"Touch you where, Sammy?"

"Goddammit, you're such a tease. My cock, Dean. Please, just - please, suck my cock." 

"Well, since you're asking so nicely." Dean took him in his hands, starting to slowly stroke up and down his shaft, watching his precum gathering at the tip. He was dying to taste it. "You can't possibly imagine how much I wanted to take you right there on her desk. I wanted her to watch how good you're taking my dick, Sammy. I wanted her to see that you're such a good boy for me, that you're getting off on this so much. I wanted her to shut the hell up cause she doesn't know anything. You're mine. She could never take you away from me." And with that being said, he sucked Sam into his mouth to the root in one swift motion, making both of them groan. 

He could sense Sam holding back, not thrusting forward from fear of chocking him. Dean swallowed around his length, licking at the tip and then suckling the head back into his mouth. Sam was a writhing mess, barely holding it together. His hands were gripping onto his hair, pulling on it now and again, making Dean rut against the bed even harder. His dick was hard enough to cut diamonds and they had barely done anything.

"Dean, stop, stop, I'm gonna - " 

Dean pulled back from him, not wanting Sam to come yet. He had other plans. He reached down and tugged on his zipper, freeing his aching cock from the confines of his jeans. He wrapped a hand around himself, relieving some of the pressure. Dean looked at Sam, sprawled on the bed and watching him with rapt attention, not daring to touch himself from fear of coming way too soon and couldn't believe how lucky he was to have this. To have him. Sometimes he wondered if maybe the universe took so much from him only to give him something even better, more priceless than anything he could've ever asked for. Times like this, he realized Sam made everything bearable, like the world was worthy of fighting for just because Sam was in it, he gave his life meaning. A universe without Sam would be a sad, dull universe, a world in which he didn't even wanna imagine living. 

Sam followed his movements with his eyes, his fingers twitching as if he wanted to reach out and touch but Dean didn't give him the chance. He got up from the bed, rummaging through his duffle until he found what he was looking for. He brought the lube to bed, squeezing some onto his finger before resettling in between Sam's thighs, searching the entrance only he was allowed to see, touch, feel tightening around his member when Sam came from too much pleasure. "Breathe for me, baby." He encouraged, stroking his flanks lovingly, easing his nerves. It wasn't their first time, not by a long shot, but Dean always needed to know his baby brother was fully relaxed and eager. 

Sam did as he was told and sucked in a deep breath, releasing it a second later and letting Dean's lube-covered finger slip in without resistance. Guess he was still loose enough from their morning activities. Dean couldn't suppress a smirk thinking about it. Mornings with Sammy naked and under him were the best kind of mornings. 

One finger became two and two became three and soon Dean felt like he would slowly disintegrate if he didn't get on with it as soon as possible. Sam clutched at his shoulders, making him look up from his ministrations and smiled at him knowingly, a thin line of sweat running down his flushed face. His cock stood proud at attention, slapping against his belly with every jerk of pleasure. "Dean, I'm ready, please, just fuck me." He begged, desperately, and Dean visibly surrendered. He was more than prepped enough. 

"You want that, baby boy? You want your big brother to fuck you 'till you scream my name? You want me to take you apart with my cock?" Dean had always been a dirty talker, especially with Sammy, he just wanted him to know exactly what he wanted to do to him. He pulled his pants down and stepped out of them, taking his leaking dick in one hand, giving it a few strokes just to see Sam's hungry stare. "How do you want it, love?" He asked Sam, wanting to make it good for him. Like always. 

"Like this. I want to see you when you come." 

"Fuck." Dean shivered with arousal, crawling on top of him again and lining his cock with Sam's hole, rutting against it for a few seconds, not slipping inside. The sensation was so good he didn't want to stop. But he needed to be inside him more. So in one swift motion, his length breached him, slipping past the tight ring of muscles and working his way further inside 'till he bottomed out. He stopped for a second, giving Sam time to adjust to the fullness. His hole was like a vice, gripping his cock so sweetly and making it hard to stay in control when all he wanted to do was thrust forward. 

Sam surged upward and claimed his mouth in a passion-filled kiss, making Dean's heart melt and his spirit soar with love. If he wasn't so self-aware, he might've told Sam that in moments like this he felt their souls connecting, two halves of the same whole coming together in a spiritual dance that only with each other they could create. But Dean wasn't a chick-flick lover so Sam had to just read it in his eyes. He was good at it. He could figure it out. They communicated better without words anyway. 

"Move, Dee. Fuck, so good-" After the initial pain of being penetrated had subsided, the pleasure was all that remained. Sam loved it a little painful, although he hasn't told that to Dean yet it made it all the more real to him. He loved the physical confirmation that it wasn't a dream, that Sam wasn't gonna wake up in a world where his brother didn't need him in the same fucked-up way Sam needed him. 

"God, Sammy -" Dean pulled out and then slammed back inside, picking up his rhythm and starting fucking into Sam with earnest. Sam was moaning so prettily in his ear, spurring Dean on even harder. They liked it rough, liked to really feel it. Add that to the never-ending list of oddities about them.

"Yeah, fuck, just take it, Sammy. You're taking it so fucking good." Sam wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, holding onto his shoulders with his head buried in his shoulder to stifle his loud moans. "Let me hear you, baby. Moan for your big brother. Yeah, let all of them hear just how you're giving it up for your brother. You get off on this, Sammy? Other people knowing that you spread those long legs for me? Only for me." Dean growled and bit on Sam's shoulder, on his collarbone, leaving his marks all over his Sammy. 

"Oh, yeah, I love it, Dean. Harder, come on, make me come." Sam choked on his words when Dean nailed his prostate spot-on, making him see stars and his cock give a violent twitch. He reached down to grip his dick, knowing he was close. 

Dean slapped his hand away and pinned it above his head, "No, I didn't say you could touch yourself. You're gonna come on my cock. I now you can, love." He started going faster, hitting Sam's prostate every time and chasing his own orgasm. Sam was babbling nonsense, delirious with pleasure and dammit fuck he wanted to come so bad and Dean was fucking him so good and he couldn't hold it back anymore - 

Sam came with a shout of Dean's name, his cock shooting rope after rope of creamy white come, clamping down hard on Dean's dick and making him lose control. "Fuuuck, so hot. So hot, baby brother, I'm gonna - shit!" Dean fucked into him two, three more times and then stilled, emptying himself inside his little brother's well-fucked hole. His orgasm felt like it was going to go on forever, the force of it almost enough to make him blackout. He'd had sex before Sam, but it had never been like this. It couldn't even compare. None of those girls had made him feel even remotely so good. But sex with Sam - sex with Sam felt like his universe was recomposing itself, all the pieces coming together only to knock him back onto his ass with the white-hot pleasure of his orgasm. Sex with Sam felt like making love. 

After coming back to himself, he raised his eyes from where he was still buried inside Sam and looked into his eyes. Into his soul. Sam was staring back at him, the love and devotion plain as day on his face. "You always make me feel so good, Dean. Sometimes I think without you I would've went insane. It scares the crap out of me how much I need you." Dean felt his heart clench with all the emotions coursing through him. He sensed tears gathering in his eyes and so he leaned down and claimed Sam's mouth with his own in a sweet kiss. This one was much tender than the last ones, this one conveyed everything he felt that he couldn't put into words. And Sam understood. Because he always did. They smiled knowingly at each other and Dean pecked Sam one more time on his pink, soft lips before slipping gently out of him, his warm come sipping out of Sam, marking him as Dean's. Forever. 

He went into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to clean them up before tossing it somewhere on the floor and climbing in bed beside his little brother. He expected to find him sleepy, exhausted from their day but he was actually wide awake with an unreadable expression on his face. It immediately put Dean on edge, wanting to find the cause of it and make it better. He wrapped his arms protectively around Sam and whispered in his ear, "What's wrong, love?"

"Just.." Sam took a deep breath before continuing. "Did you mean it? What you said back there?" He was fiddling with a loose thread from the comforter around them like he was afraid to look into Dean's eyes and see something he didn't want to.

Dean gripped his chin with one hand, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Sam, you have to know that I would never let them separate us. Not Dad, not anyone." He tried to make him understand.

"Yeah, Dee, I know that, but..." He visibly forced himself to push out the rest of his words. "What if she tells Dad and he says we can't see each other anymore? He's Dad and you know, I'm me and -"

"Hey. Don't even finish that." Dean couldn't even comprehend how Sam could think that way. "I don't care what Dad says. Now that I've got you, the only way that I'll let you go is if you ask me to."

"Dean, I would never - "

"No, let me finish." He stopped him with a raised hand and Sam quirked an eyebrow but otherwise didn't say anything. "I know you say that'll never be the case, but you're young and beautiful and fuck, every day I fear you'll realize that I'm just your older brother and you have a whole life ahead of you that you could spend with whoever the hell you wanted. I'm so scared that you'll leave me one day and go searching for someone not so fucked up that could give you a real home, a real relationship. With whom you wouldn't have to hide all the time." Dean cleared his throat and tried to keep his mind clear but it was becoming harder and harder to do so without curling up in a ball and crying. "And I know I can't give you a lot, Sam, I know. But I'm trying to do right by you. And let me tell you something, maybe others could give you normal, but I'm the only one that can love you above all else. The only one.

"You hold my heart in your hands, don't you understand? So if you think for one second that I wouldn't choose you, then you're a fool, Sam Winchester. Because no matter what, in every other life, I will always choose you. Fuck Dad and his opinions. He can't take this from us."

By the end of the entire speech, which Dean didn't think he was gonna finish because of the tears running down his face looking at his little brother pouring his eyes out, his heart felt like breaking and mending itself all over again and everything he wanted to do was drag Sam up in his arms and fucking shake him so he won't ever doubt Dean and his love again. So he did just that. 

He pulled Sam to him and let him cry, whispering reassuring words in his ear every time he felt him let out a violent sob. "I love you, I love you, I love you..." He knew he didn't say it often enough and in that moment he vowed he would tell him every day just so his brother knew how much he adored him, so that he would never feel insecure ever again. 

After Sam's sobs receded, he pulled back just a little, rising his beautiful hazel eyes to Dean's face. "I love you too, Dean. You're everything to me. But you have to understand something too. You're the only one for me. There's never going to be anyone else. You're it for me, Dee. No - stop." He said when he saw Dean's mouth opening. "I need you to believe me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you. Ever." He curled into Dean's chest then, drawing patterns on him with his finger. A heart. S+D. Dean chuckled. It was such a Sam thing to do. 

Even though his worries and fears didn't suddenly disappear, he felt lighter. As if for now, that was enough. Sam wanted him now. And it was more than Dean could've asked for. 

*

"Pack your bags," Dean threw Sam's duffel at him when he exited the bathroom.

"What for? Dad's not here yet." Sam looked quizzically up at his big brother, wondering what the hell's gotten into him. 

"Exactly." Dean sighed, placing his own already packed duffel next to the door. "I can't be certain that woman didn't call dad. He might be on his way to us right as we speak. I can't take a chance, Sammy. If he knows, then it'll be hell to pay. And I don't know if I can protect you from his wrath. I could care less about myself, I just need to know you're safe."

"Wait, so..."

"Yeah. We'll run away. If we want to make it, it's the only way." He stepped closer to Sam, taking his face in his hands. "I know it's sudden and scary but we will make it, Sam. As long as we're together. Do you trust me?" He asked, a flicker of light from outside the motel room catching in his eyes.

"With my life." Sam nodded, giving Dean a quick peck on the lips.

Sam smiled and Dean smiled back and it felt like a beginning.

Sam put his duffel bag on the bed and started placing discarded items into it, folding clothes and underwear, all while thinking of their future together. He had hope. 

"Where we going?" 

"Anywhere, Sam. Anywhere."


End file.
